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teacher:i’m gonna-
me:mAke iT bENd AnD bREaK, saY A pRAyEr And leT tHE goOD TiMEs roLL [SLOWLY RISE OUT OF SEAT], in cASe God DOesn’t shOW [JUMPS ONTO CHAIR] aND i WaNt thESe WORds tO mAke tHiNGs RIght BUt iT’s tHe WroNGs That mAke thE wORds cOme To LiFe [THROWS DESK ACROSS THE ROOM] “WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?” If tHaT’s thE WOrst yoU Got bETter pUt YOur FinGErs BAck tO thE kEYs [DROP KICKS TEACHER] oNe niGHt anD oNe MorE tImE [BUSTS DOWN DOOR TO ANOTHER CLASS] tHAnkS fOr thE mEMoriEs evEN tHOugH tHEy WERen’t sO GReat [UPPERCUTS A PLAY DOUGH CAN] “He TaSTes liKE yOu oNLy sWEetEr.”

octemberfirst:

abqandnotu:

merosse:

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR” 

(Source: animalkingd0m, via darlingdiangelo)

Pharrell on his time working at McDonald’s

(Source: lindsaybluth, via darlingdiangelo)

striders:

once a straight boy was tryina holler n he literally texted me the phrase “*turns into a wolf and snuggles your boobs*” like???? buddy you weird as fuck i wasnt interested to begin with but now im fuckin worried about you like what the hell

(via tyleroakley)

shingocore:

mom and dad be like

image

(via ruinedchildhood)

SHIGANSHINA TRIO + NAME MEANINGS

(x) (x)

(via shingeki-no-consulting-detective)

fat-sweatpants-and-chocolate:

adventuresonpaper:

booktown:

adventuresonpaper:

booktown:

HOW DO PEOPLE READ WITH THE SLEEVE ON THE HARD COVER BOOK?! i JUST CAN’T

IDK I JUST FEEL WEIRD WHEN ITS NOT ON

I JUST FEEL SO MUCH MORE RELAXED WHEN THE BOOK’S NOT WEARING CLOTHES TO IMPRESS ME. JUST THE HARD BOOK IN MY HANDS

THIS JUST GOT SEXUAL REALLY QUICKLY 

image

(via shingeki-no-consulting-detective)

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